U-FLI’s tag line is “The Ultimate Dogsport for Family and Fun,” but what is it like to play the game when you have children along. It takes a great amount of organizing to get your self, the dogs, and the equipment to a tournament, add little kids and all their stuff and well, Whew! So how do these moms and dads do it?… why do they do it?Here are the thoughts and opinions of some from around the country, but first let me introduce them:
- Jackie: Mother of two boys of early elementary school age. They’ve been playing flyball since before the boys were born.
- Pam: Mother of three teen girls. Been playing flyball since her girls were early elementary school age.
- Bev: Mother of two boys. One teen, one middle school. Been playing flyball since they were elementary school age. Bev’s boys have earned the highest title possible in the U-FLI Junior Handler program.
- Trish: Mother of a one-year old. Been playing flyball since right before becoming pregnant.
- Me: Mother of two girls. One teen, one middle school. Been playing flyball since girls were early elementary school age.
What got you involved in flyball?
Jackie and Bev were involved in other animal sports, Jackie in horse showing, Bev in dog obedience. Jackie came to flyball with her dog that ran the cross country course with her. Bev was looking for an activity the dogs could do while she was show chair and unable to compete. The rest of us came to the sport as many do… looking for an outlet and focus for our high-energy dog.
What made it stick?
It was fun for the whole family. It was a sport that everyone in the family could do and could do together. The team component of the game… fun people, supportive people.
What life lessons do you think your kids have drawn out of the flyball experience (or are drawing)?
Jackie: Playing well with others, learning to take care of their pets, learning how to train. My boys are very compassionate, and I think it has a lot to do with all the rescue work we do as a family.
Bev: Flyball only rounds out the balance I feel. Its part of the big picture so to speak. They learn that life doesn’t always hand you a win. That was hardest for my oldest to learn, he is always on the All Star Team for whatever sports he plays. He has learned that our dogs are athletes, just as he is, and their mind and bodies need to be taken care of if he expects the best out of them. He has learned that conditioning is part of the big picture in flyball and includes that portion of caring for the dogs in his daily routine.
Trish: Right now, Max is learning to trust adults, other than just his parents. He will willingly go to any adult on our team if Mom and Dad are busy. As he gets older, I think he’ll also pick up the proper respect and treatment of animals, as well as what it means to participate in a team sport.
Pam: Definitely being a team player. There was a job for everyone from pottying dogs to ball shagging. Making them responsible individuals as a team player. Knowing how to run their dog beside teammates and taking practice seriously. Taking instructions from others beside their parents.
Me: Group dynamics and how adults interact. They will be so much better prepared for life in the “grown up world of work” from their exposure to all the different personalities they have observed over the years being involved in flyball. They have also learned about the responsibility of caring for animals as well as following through on commitments you make to others to do what you say you will do and be where you say you will be.
Do you think it’s shaped them in some way? How?
Jackie: Absolutely. They are great travelers - a 9 hour car ride is nothing to them! They can get up at 5 am, and go all day. They learn to respect the adults at tournaments, and follow directions. They also help me out a lot when we have to go without daddy - due to his work schedule.
Bev: Yes. Trevor has learned that in order to play with the big boys (so to speak, since it is mostly dominated by adults) that he can’t sit his pup butt on the porch and whine about the `what if`s`. He has learned that he has to go out and give it his all.
By playing this sport it has molded him into the young man that he is. It has allowed him to meet others not as athletic as he is and to see them as equals on the playing field while at the same time, showing him that he is not always an equal to those he is running against.
Pam: It has built up their confidence.
Trish: I think Max is definitely more outgoing for his age because of the exposure he’s had to everyone. He’s also a little more daring, willing to pet dogs other than his own.
What makes a tournament fun for your child?
For the younger children it’s connecting with their “flyball friends”. Children from other teams they only get to see at flyball tournaments. They also enjoy that the grown ups give them jobs that give them a chance to contribute to the team. Some really enjoy the freedom to get really dirty and covered in dog hair and mom doesn’t get on their case.
As the kids get older, it’s running a dog and hanging out with their “flyball friends”. The older kids love being treated as an equal in the ring. The rules don’t change from adult to kid. They are expected to play with as much skill as the adults do and love that the adults give them their trust and the responsibility.
How do you organize it all… stuff for the tournament, stuff for the dogs, and stuff for the kids?
Everyone’s response was along the lines of “A really Big Vehicle”. Seriously, though, they make lists, they keep to a routine, they make the kids responsible for a portion of the packing, and they keep some things packed all the time so it’s just grab and go.
Advice for others taking up flyball with kids in tow.
- Less is sometimes more… A few toys for down time, but letting them run and play is the best.
- Books on tape or a portable DVD player for the long car ride.
- A Pack N Play for the really little ones.
- Make it fun and keep things light.
- Enjoy the time you are getting to spend together; it is so precious in our busy world.
- Do it… it will be the best family fun and you will be making memories that you all will keep for a lifetime.
Connie
Note: “The Ultimate Dogsport for Family and Fun” is a registered trademark of United Flyball League International (U-FLI)
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9 comments ↓
Thanks for this Connie. Since the boys were infants, one thing that has been INGRAINED, is we have to be up at “atem” earlier than persons without kids. We have alot of dogs we travel with, so longer time for pottying. I am usually at a tourney site(or if camping) up before anyone else is up - usually in the dark. I have to get myself ready, feed, potty and then get the kids ready. It is easier now that they can feed themselves and no diapers(yeah). But, us mothers are doing ALOT of jobs…especially those of us with ALOT of dogs. So, imagine how tired we are at the end of a day! Moreso when we travel without our spouses. I have always relied on my team to help with the kids…and have told my kids they need to listen to the adult teammates. I am very lucky that I have been on teams that support me in this way.
Thanks flyball moms! There are 2 of us on our team that are planning on kids in the next few years and we often wonder how y’all do it. You are all amazing!
Next - I’d like to hear how those of you with large dog families do it. We’re at 3 and a foster now - will we ever be able to handle more?
Tracy, I am at 20 dogs….and usually have one or two fosters. We travel with at least 14. When I go without my husband I have about 11 or 12. Since having kids, we have never traveled with less than 6…(that was what we had when we had our first - and all but 1 played). Now, we have 12 trained dogs, 3 retired, 3 in training, and 2 rescues that will never leave.
It is all a balance, and routine. I need and rely on my routine, both at home and tournaments.
It really is not that hard, if you keep that frame of mind. My kids help me train now…which is very cute.
I forgot to mention that since having the boys, I have been working from home…:)
Jackie
These previous folks are referring to younger kids - I’d like to acknowledge how nice it is to be able to build a unique relationship through flyball with my child who happens to be a young adult. She has grown over the years into a strong and confident young lady, made friendships through teammates that will last forever and while many of my co-workers complain about how their teen treats them and speaks to them, I know how fortunate I am that my teen acually enjoys our weekends together because of our mutual love for this sport. I only have a short time left with her until she moves on to persue her own life. Kids grow much faster than they should and before you know it, they’re no longer kids.Flyball has become a special bond not only “for dog and handler” at our house, but a special something that I never expected and am proud to say a unique bond between” parent and young adult.” In today’s world, this has become rare that a high schooler actually enjoys spending her weekends and spare time with her mom. The people in our club respect her as an equal and are people she trusts. They are mentors and more importantly have become her genuine friends.Will she continute flyball as she moves on in her life? That’s for her to decide. The friendships built will continue - of that I’m certain.
Kids who grow up with dogs learn compassion, and many the other traits previously listed. I would like to acknowlege the teammates who also mentor and mold kids through their actions -(both good and bad lessons can be learned through example).
Flyball is definately more that it appears on the surface,
an unexpected gift we’ve all been fortunate to have experienced with our dogs, teammates, and even our kids.
I think it’s great that kids are part of flyball, but I saw a lot of scary things at the last tournament I was at, there were a lot of kids running willy-nilly around the tournament site. Yes most the kids are used to being around dogs, but I just saw a lot of potential for incidents where dogs or kids could get hurt. Not all dogs are used to kids, this doesn’t make them bad dogs, but flyball is not the best place to acclimate dogs to kids when the dogs are focused on playing flyball.
At one point, there were 4 very small kids leaning over the back stop behind the box, then running back & forth behind the backstops. This could really freak out a shy dog, or cause a distraction to the dog.
I also saw kids going up to strange dogs and trying to pet them while the owners were frantically trying to pull their dogs away from the kids. I usually see it as an opportunity to show kids the right way to approach or pet a dog, but it can be hard to control an already amped up dog, talk to the kid about asking for permission to pet a dog, and how best to pet a dog. It’s one thing to know how to deal with your own family’s dogs, but kids need to know not to approach strange dogs.
We also had kids running thru our crating area, in spite of our efforts to barricade it off. I’ve been at tourney’s with Jackie’s kids and they are so well behaved, they aren’t messing with dogs they don’t know, they are off playing by themselves or other kids away from the racing ring. I don’t have kids and I felt like if I asked the parents to keep their kids under control that I’d just be a big meanie. Mostly I was just really concerned that a kid would get hurt and a dog would be demonized. Is there a good way to talk to parents without hurting people’s feelings?
Jackie - You inspire (and scare) me!
Jayne has a VERY important and valid point! This acually applies to all of the humans no matter the age.
We’ve all seen the senario,the dogs are amped and young kids sometimes think that they have seen the dog before so they know them. That’s the way little kids think. They go over and want to see thier latest buddy from the last tournament.
Think about this: would you appreciate these same actions if it were an adult, running around the facility, zipping through your crating area, and reaching in to pet your dog?
There is an unspoken etticate that prehaps, should be spoken about. To open the eyes of all of us involved.
Like I said, this goes for adults too. Although this behavior does tend to fall on the blame of “the children” Adults could use some reminders too.
This combination of dogs, adrenaline, and humans (of any age) can potentially become a problem.
Dr. Jekle and Mr. Hyde can appear at any tournament; humans and dogs alike.
We have to have this conversation in the flyball commuity - although you can say “it’s up to the parents to instill these things, “. If something were to happen, it would be terrible for the child, the dog and all the adults around. It could be life changing.This is a serious topic and we all need to look out for each other.
Flyball isn’t a playground, it’s a sporting event. Would you have your kids running around in between football players, dodging soccer balls during a regional tournament, standing at the finish line in a race? catching javlins? (just joking)
Use your head parents- and don’t be offended if someone redirects your kids for THEIR safety.
Be grateful, someone is watching, and caring.
Jayne,
I personally expect the adults to tell me if my kids do something..I really think we as adults can’t turn a blind eye on something like this. I may be a little embarrassed that they did something, but, I want to know, and fix it…and then have my kids apologize or try to rectify anything that may have happened.
I tell my kids CONSTANTLY that they can not run around strange dogs for the very reason you point out…and I have to remind ALOT! I am a constant nag. I honestly tell them at each and every tourney that some dogs do not like kids, and will bite kids, especially if you run around it. (and Josh has actually been nipped but just walking! by one of these dogs thru a door..)
I can tell you, one time in Madison at Ultimutts tourney - Jacob pushed a button, that happened to be a light switch and the lights went off, and it takes 20 plus minutes for them to “warm” back up. I was mortified, and Jacob got embarrassed by my reaction and correction…so being the 4 yo - acted like a 4 yo! I felt horrible!
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